What I Did At Lunch on Friday
I went to lunch today at a little sandwich shop a couple of blocks from my office. I forgot to take a newspaper to read, so I sat at a table eating my meal, allowing my mind to wander.
As I sat there, eating my Turkey and Bacon sandwich, an odd thing happened. I think. I looked to the table to my left and saw a beautiful woman sitting there, looking at me. I had no idea where she came from. She hadn’t been there seconds before and I hadn’t seen her walk into the restaurant. I looked away and, being a sucker for beauty, looked back. She was gone. I turned back to my sandwich and there she was sitting across the table from me.
“Hello,” she said, smiling ever so slightly and cocking her head just a little.
“Huh?” was all I could manage.
“Don’t worry, Jack. I’m not a figment of your imagination. I’m a ghost.”
“U-u-h. Okay?” I said. I looked up. Nobody else in the place seemed to notice her.
“Oh, Jack, nobody else can see me.”
“Why? What do you want from me.?”
“I’m trapped. I’ve been here for decades and I need to be released. I usually hide. I’m afraid to let people see me. But every once in awhile I need to ‘appear’ to somebody. I believe that if I do enough good deeds for the living, the spirit that controls the outer world will finally open the door for me and allow me to rest in peace. I want to help you.”
“I don’t need any help,” I said, starting to rewrap my sandwich so I could leave.
“Don’t you want to hear what I can offer you?”
I didn’t respond. Instead, I looked briefly up at her and noticed for the first time that I could, ever so slightly, see the person sitting at the next table, through her. Maybe she was a ghost. But I didn’t need to wait around for proof. I started putting my jacket on.
“Jack, you get three choices,” she began in a hurried voice. “But you can only pick one. First, I can tell you the numbers that will be selected in tonight’s lottery drawing. You could win $54 million.
“Second,” her voice grew a little huskier, her breasts became fuller, and she placed a hand on mine, sending this feeling, it was almost electrical in nature, through my entire body, “I could reveal to you pleasures of the flesh, secrets of passion and physical ecstasy that you never could imagine otherwise.
“Or third,” her voice returned to normal, and her hand left mine, “I could ensure that you lead a happy and fulfilling life until the day you die.
“It’s your choice,” she finished.
“Before I decide, can I ask you a question?” I asked.
“Sure, anything you want.”
“Did you ever try knocking?”
“Excuse me?”
“You know . . . knock, knock,” I said, and knocked on the table to demonstrate.
“I don’t get it. What are you talking about?”
“Come on. This door. The one that the spirit controls. The door to the ‘outer world.’ The one that’s closed. Did you ever try knocking?”
And with that, I finished pulling my jacket on, picked up my sandwich and walked out of the restaurant. Too bad I didn’t believe in ghosts.
As I sat there, eating my Turkey and Bacon sandwich, an odd thing happened. I think. I looked to the table to my left and saw a beautiful woman sitting there, looking at me. I had no idea where she came from. She hadn’t been there seconds before and I hadn’t seen her walk into the restaurant. I looked away and, being a sucker for beauty, looked back. She was gone. I turned back to my sandwich and there she was sitting across the table from me.
“Hello,” she said, smiling ever so slightly and cocking her head just a little.
“Huh?” was all I could manage.
“Don’t worry, Jack. I’m not a figment of your imagination. I’m a ghost.”
“U-u-h. Okay?” I said. I looked up. Nobody else in the place seemed to notice her.
“Oh, Jack, nobody else can see me.”
“Why? What do you want from me.?”
“I’m trapped. I’ve been here for decades and I need to be released. I usually hide. I’m afraid to let people see me. But every once in awhile I need to ‘appear’ to somebody. I believe that if I do enough good deeds for the living, the spirit that controls the outer world will finally open the door for me and allow me to rest in peace. I want to help you.”
“I don’t need any help,” I said, starting to rewrap my sandwich so I could leave.
“Don’t you want to hear what I can offer you?”
I didn’t respond. Instead, I looked briefly up at her and noticed for the first time that I could, ever so slightly, see the person sitting at the next table, through her. Maybe she was a ghost. But I didn’t need to wait around for proof. I started putting my jacket on.
“Jack, you get three choices,” she began in a hurried voice. “But you can only pick one. First, I can tell you the numbers that will be selected in tonight’s lottery drawing. You could win $54 million.
“Second,” her voice grew a little huskier, her breasts became fuller, and she placed a hand on mine, sending this feeling, it was almost electrical in nature, through my entire body, “I could reveal to you pleasures of the flesh, secrets of passion and physical ecstasy that you never could imagine otherwise.
“Or third,” her voice returned to normal, and her hand left mine, “I could ensure that you lead a happy and fulfilling life until the day you die.
“It’s your choice,” she finished.
“Before I decide, can I ask you a question?” I asked.
“Sure, anything you want.”
“Did you ever try knocking?”
“Excuse me?”
“You know . . . knock, knock,” I said, and knocked on the table to demonstrate.
“I don’t get it. What are you talking about?”
“Come on. This door. The one that the spirit controls. The door to the ‘outer world.’ The one that’s closed. Did you ever try knocking?”
And with that, I finished pulling my jacket on, picked up my sandwich and walked out of the restaurant. Too bad I didn’t believe in ghosts.
posted by Sparky at 6:34 PM
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